Thursday, December 15, 2011

Lindsay Lohan's Photos Leaked


The Idiot Box



So Lindsay Lohan's photos leaked all over the internet about her new Playboy spread. Now let me say this, all of you that read my blog know that I normally don't like when people like this get media attention like this.

But...I will stick up for Lindsay Lohan. She is a better actress that anyone gives her credit for and she's famous for something that actually means something...she's got a body of work behind her that got her where she is. She's not a reality star, she's a fallen star that fell into the trap Britney Spears did...trusting her lecherous family with her future. Greed killed Britney's family and the same with Lindsay.

So the Lindsay Lohan Playboy shoot is intended to jump start her relevance again, and judging by the pics, I hope it does. I hope she gets her affairs in order and I hope a few years down the road that she gets an Academy Award for a performance.

For those of us that remember Robert Downey Jr.'s fall from grace can appreciate the incredible comeback he's given us. Others are new to his craft and jumped on the bandwagon after Iron Man. And with Lindsay, once she makes her comeback, we will all hopefully see past her checkered past and she can hopefully acquire some new fans that stick with her.

Here's to hoping that a talented young woman regains the fame for something other than simply "existing" on television. We need to keep the talented working to hopefully someday kill reality television.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Someone Stop Kim Kardashian!


The Idiot Box



If anyone has the inclination that the famed "Kim Kardashian" wedding was meant to be anything other than a futile attempt to keep her relevant, you are sorely mistaken. Sure, she fills out a dress perfectly and has a body that most guys (and some women) would pay anything to take a crack at. But a fairy-tale wedding, it was not.

Just for the simple fact that she gets as much television coverage as it is, she needs to be thrown off a cliff or sent to an island somewhere so rich people who actually deserve their riches can hunt them down like in "The Most Dangerous Game", a book that her whole family probably didn't realize existed because, well, they just don't read. No, they just have ghost writers documenting their every move. Okay so let's break down the list of why this whole family is a sham and we're all the victims. Well, unless you know they're full of shit, then you're ahead of the game. Here's the list of shenanigans by Kimmy and her Klan.

1. Kim Kardashian was marrying a white guy. We all know she has a taste for interracial relationships, as does Khloe and Kourtney. (Why Al Sharpton never got on them for their initials spelling out KKK is a different mystery...wait, he's not paid by MSNBC to have an open opinion anymore).

2. Kim and Khloe Take Whatever City is premiering soon and she needed to cement some viewers.

3. Kris' (the mom's) new book was slated to come out and she mysteriously was on the talk-show circuit days after the marriage imploded.

4. Khloe and Lamar's Pistachio commercial happened to air during the shenanigans. Payday!

5. Rob was trending on Dancing With the Stars during the shenanigans (in which they are paid to dance on). Payday!

6. Kourtney is now trending because of her impending pregnancy. Magazine covers = Payday!

7. Kim marketed and was paid for her reality wedding show and is still in the news. Payday!

8. Her husband is now all over the place, supplementing his income in case the NBA lock-out extended into a cancelled season. He needed cash, plain and simple. Cash out, fuck a knockout, talentless woman and reap the rewards.

9. Now the Jenner kids are modeling and getting shout-outs from Kris the mother-pimp. Payday!

Should I go on? No. There's enough evidence there that can be looked up on Google at any time. check the dates, check the validity, check it all. It makes total sense that the public was conned by a talentless, incredibly hot moron and her lecherous family. They all need to be stopped! Seriously, get them off the air and out of our lives. The only legitimate thing Kim Kardashian has ever done was the "Kim Kardashian sex tape". She's got mad skills in the bedroom and should stick to that. I'd download her porn because frankly, that's the only reason she exists at all.

But then again it's reality television, where everything is staged and manipulated into complete fiction, masquerading as real life to con us all.

Take back television!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Charlie Sheen




Okay, you'd have to be living under a rock if you haven't heard about what is going around the entertainment community right now. Most of the brouhaha is centered around the Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen. And I would be an idiot not to chime in with my two cents. So here are the pros and cons of the highest paid actor in the history of television.

First, I would like to mention a little bit about the show, which should serve as a premise for my opinion. And yes, I have had these opinions before Charlie was on Piers Morgan. Okay, Chuck Lorre is in my DVR lineup and I've seen his shows before. Dharma and Greg, Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory, Mike and Molly, you name it, I've seen it. And half of the lunacy of his shows are the vanity cards at the end. You've seen them, they say "Chuck Lorre Productions - #38" or something. And they usually consist of some random idea that he had that day. But the only show that made the cut for me is...Big Bang Theory. Not that Two and a Half Men isn't funny. It is...or it used to be.

Men used to be funny as hell when it first started. The main reasons? Well, that they said and did all that shit in front of a kid. Charlie Harper is essentially Charlie Sheen (boozing, womanizing and shallow) and the character shows the same unapologetic self perception that the actor does. Chuck Lorre wrote it this way to exploit Sheen to make the character. Hmmm, then why is this such a fucking issue? You got what you made, Chuck. Charlie Harper is here for filming.

And then the show, which is "family entertainment" delved into total perversion. Frank allusions and comments about debauchery and oral sex permeate the show now, something that I wouldn't let someone under 14 watch at all. And to think The View was pissed about Family Guy being syndicated and shown during the day? Well, Men is far worse. They basically are the living Griffin household and are syndicated more in the same time slots. And while we're applauding the perverse "family comedy", why don't we crucify the actor for paying women and banging pornstars? Yeah, that only flies as long as it's filmed and Chuck Lorre can make a billion from it. You can't do that personally, Charlie. Save it for the plotlines. We need to cash in on this behavior and you're giving it away for free.

So the whole thing, to me, is that while Charlie Sheen is out sticking his manhood into anyone that's proud enough to own a vagina, it's basically going to damper the comedy on the show, frankly because we don't have to tune in to see Charlie Harper. No, we can get him all over the place without the other pesky people around. Chuck Lorre? Pissed. Use the old hooker mentality...why give it away when you can charge for it? Chuck Lorre? Pimp.

And the one thing I admire about Sheen is this. No, it's not that he thinks he's God or Hollywood's Hugh Hefner. I can do without the God complex. No, what I like about Sheen is that his brutal honesty about owning what he does. He makes no bones about himself. He knows what he does and we consider them flaws. He considers them personality traits. But what he effectively did was silenced the tabloid people. He took away every possible headline...you know, the ones that make us ponder what comes next and brings us "into the personal tragedy as it unfolds". It's unfolded! No wonderment. He said it all and put himself out there to be judged. His brutal honesty and unapologetic attitude is refreshing to me, because for once, we don't have TMZ probing him for answers. Sure, now we get the reactions to how he is, but Charlie's doing that himself. He's controlling what is said about him by saying it first. And I, for one, applaud it. My pissed-offness for him bedding Bree Olsen? Well, I was hoping to be famous someday to justify meeting her myself. So my petty jealousy aside, well done, Charlie.

As far as his show? Well, I could care less if it comes back. I don't think it's funny. I haven't for a long time. It's too dirty (I know I know, I watch porn and I know Bree Olson inside and out but this is "family entertainment" here) for my tastes and it all seems forced anyway. But when Major League 3 comes out? Well, I'll pay to see Rick Vaughn again anytime.

On a closing note, I would like to add though that sadly Charlie is starting to look like his Ferris Bueller cameo. Here's to him making a strong comeback.